


Don’t Blame Me

by masterofthewhisperers



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:01:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25290556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterofthewhisperers/pseuds/masterofthewhisperers
Relationships: Cersei Lannister/Jaime Lannister
Comments: 11
Kudos: 32





	Don’t Blame Me

Joffrey, Myrcella, and Tommen sat quietly in the living room. Joffrey with his earbuds in, blocking out the world, Tommen on the floor playing with his pet cat, and Myrcella engulfed in book as they waited for Tyrion to come pick them up. 

The peaceful silence was broken when the sound of a vase shattering echoed above them. Myrcella snapped her head up and gave the boys a confused look. Joffrey brushed it off but Tommen looked concerned. 

“Joff, what do you think that was?”

Joffrey pulled his earbuds out in annoyance and sighed, “Probably nothing,” he looked to Tommen, “I’m sure mom is fine. Uncle Jaime is up there with her,” he was interrupted by a rhythmic squeaking, “It sounds like they’re just moving some furniture around.”

His words seemed to ease Tommen as he nodded and turned his attention back to the cat. Myrcella wasn’t buying it though. She sat her book down and decided to go upstairs to investigate. 

“What are you doing?” Joffrey asked once she stood. 

“There is a lot of banging going on. I’m going to see what’s going on,” she replied, daring him to forbid her. 

Before Joffrey could say anything, Tommen hopped up, “I want to hang out with Uncle Jaime, I’m coming too.” They both headed upstairs while Joffrey shook his head and returned to ignoring them. 

Once Myrcella and Tommen reached the door they heard Jaime let out a deep sigh, “He sounds tired,” Myrcella said. 

Tommen nodded along, “Mom must be making him work hard.”

They edged closer to the door, “God, Cersei!” Jaime moaned out. 

They heard something fall off the nightstand and Cersei whimper before she yelled, “You’re choking me, knock it off,” as Jaime let out a low chuckle. 

Tommen and Myrcella shared startled expressions, “Cella, Uncle Jaime is choking mom.”

Cersei let out a loud gasp, “You’re killing me.”

“She sounds like she can’t breathe, what do we do?” Tommen whispered, panicked. 

Myrcella grabbed his hand and they ran back downstairs to Joffrey, “Joff, Uncle Jaime is hurting mom.”

“Don’t be dumb. He is-“ he was interrupted by Cersei loudly panting Jaime’s name, the squeaking above them got frantic and then abruptly stopped. 

The three children shared identical looks of horror, “What do we do?”

“We need to call someone.” 

“Uncle Tyrion?”

“Grandpa?”

“No, Uncle Jaime killed mom. We need to call the police.”

Joffrey quickly dialed the local police department and attempted to explain what happened. They promised to have an officer out as soon as possible. 

Myrcella was attempting to calm down Tommen while Joffrey paced around when the doorbell rang. 

Myrcella flung the door opened, “Uncle Tyrion!” They all chorused together before simultaneously diving into three different versions of the same story. 

Tyrion slowly closed the door, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. One at a time,” he pointed to Myrcella, “What happened?”

“Uncle Jaime killed mom,” she proclaimed. 

“Uncle Jaime killed mom?” Tyrion asked, amused as he watched Cersei and Jaime make their way downstairs, Jaime still adjusting his tie as he led Cersei. 

Tommen nodded, “Yeah, he choked her out.”

“We called the police,” Joffrey added quietly. 

The twins stopped at the foot of the stairs, catching the last bit of the conversation. Tyrion made eye contact with them before returning his attention to the kids, “You called the police? Goodness. Okay, let’s go wait for the police,” he said as he ushered them towards the kitchen. 

“We can’t wait here! There’s a murderer in the house,” Tommen said as he dramatically threw his hands in the air. 

“I’m pretty sure it’ll be fine. I don’t think Uncle Jaime will hurt you.”

“I didn’t think Uncle Jaime would hurt mom,” Myrcella yelled back at him. 

“Well, you’d be surprised at some people’s kinks,” Tyrion whispered to himself as she marched off. 

///

He walked back into the foyer to find Cersei helping Jaime with his tie. He looked between the two before shaking his head, “The cops are on their way,” he announced nonchalantly. 

“Why” they both asked in unison. 

“I don’t know. For some reason the kids thought you were being murdered” he said looking pointedly at Cersei, “Choked by our dear brother, maybe?”

Cersei gave him a disbelieving look, “Oh my god.”

They were interrupted by the doorbell, “Will you handle that? I need to talk to our kids,” Cersei said as she hurried into the kitchen. 

Jaime and Tyrion were able to spin a story and sort out the misunderstanding with the officer who walked away laughing. They entered the kitchen just in time to hear Cersei explaining that she and Jaime were moving furniture and he dropped something that pinned her to the ground and nearly choked her. 

Joffrey shrugged his shoulders and seemed indifferent before taking his leave. Tommen seemed to believe the story and ran off to find his cat. Myrcella, however, wasn’t buying it. She looked at the three siblings before her, “Why was the bed squeaking?”

Jaime held eye contact with her and quickly shot back, “We were jumping on it. Testing the springs.”

She nodded, his words earning her 10 year old approval, “Okay. Why is there lipstick on your collar?” she asked innocently. 

Tyrion laughed but quickly played it off as a cough as Jaime frantically looked at Cersei, who glared at him while internally cursing herself. 

Jaime took a deep breath, “It’s...my....girlfriend’s” he said hesitantly while slowly breaking eye contact with Cersei to look at Myrcella. 

“You have a girlfriend?” she shook her head and shrugged her shoulders, standing to hug him, “Sorry for calling the cops on you. I know you would never hurt mom.”

Jaime bent down to kiss her head, “It’s okay. You were doing what you thought was right,” She smiled at him before she ran off the find her brothers. 

“Wow. 20 years of this and you still haven’t realized you don’t need to be so theatrical all of the time,” Tyrion added casually as he exited the room. 

Jaime sat next to Cersei and took her hand, “Your girlfriend,” she said with a laugh as she pulled her hand from his, “He’s right, you shouldn’t be so dramatic in bed all of the time,” she said with a smirk before rising to leave. 

“Don’t blame me,” He scoffed as he followed after her.


End file.
